Nila

This has all been said before, whether you thought I meant it or not, despite every stupid, idiotic thing I have said. But I care about everything and anything you've ever done in the past, to me or not, either way I'm affected by it, but hey, that's not your fault, it's mine. It was my own curiosity to go rummaging through your things that got me hurt.
Sure I found some dark secrets and then some, but I did it to get to know you better. Because not everyone wants to share certain things and I didn't necessarily want to drag it out of you with some consequential argument. I know, I still have things you don't know about, if not worse than what you have done or had happen to you. From what I found, I still love you and want to be with you, as long as you never resorted back to your past in any conversation with me unless it was some joyous occasion between friends and or family.
I'm sorry I showed my jealous colors, but I had mentioned to you since we started living together, albeit it was never mandatory, I would have liked it if you notified me if you were going to be home late or at least invited me to hangout with your friends as to keep me from worrying.
I'm sorry I didn't have a great job at the time nor did I make an attempt to find a better one. I'm sorry I was never great with finances or saving up. I wasn't sure you loved me anymore, so I started spending the majority of my money to buy you back. I'm sorry I made love to you or had sexual intercourse with you frequently and I apologize for making you seem as though you felt used in both monetary and sex departments.
I may not be the best person for the real world, but damn me for trying, let alone being faithful and loyal. I'm sure you have the side of your story as well and I'd feel down right disgusted to hear it because of truths, but I'd prefer the truth. And the only truth I have for you, whether you know it anymore or not is that I still love you, and will do my best to please you in any and all ways possible.
There's not a day, night, girl I've seen or been with that cannot seem to keep you from my mind, yet it's been since January of 2013. I've been caught in your web ever since 2010 and as much as it sucks being stuck in this mindset, no others company compares to yours, I love you like no other. You truly will be the death of me, self inflicted or not.

Retail

A manager at a previous retail giant I had been employed with, believed it should be mandatory for eighteen year olds to have the choice of either joining the military, or working a retail position for two years. I always thought the military aspect was excellent, but after he had mentioned the retail aspect I agreed, that or a two year stint in a service industry job. Though the last two are civilian based, after a year of working in either one you'd want to kill somebody. For the simple fact of seeing the true dark side of human beings... Greed.

War is not ever present, and when war does ensue, not everyone is involved. Consumerism however is and will always be there, and because of this, wars are waged, sad if you actually think about it. I stand here, behind a counter, sometimes five, up to ten hours a shift observing customers, answering questions about discounts of which I don't care about you saving a extra dollar towards your next unnecessary purchase. Seeing how disrepectful, rude and inconsiderate some people get when they shop. As if they all gained some sort of alpha complex. Wild animals, wanting this, wanting that and now now now. Looking down on you because "the customer's 'ALWAYS' right".

I generally dislike my job soley due this. It's caused me to further lessen my compassion for my fellow man, it's turning me racist, fake and cautious. Like my fellow co-worker said, "This job is killing me, it's making me hate people. This is not me, this is not who I am." And in either area, military or not, you have higher ups that control you and expect you to bend over backwards to please your superiors, in this case the hordes of rabid dogs we know as shoppers. At least you get to travel and have a trade position in the military, a job that'll benefit you and society when you're released. I feel bad for the higher ups sometimes as well. Because at one point, were in our same shoes as well. Though they get paid more, they're still not happy, because the customer's still not satisfied. Our CEOs, CFOs, RMs, DMs, SMs, AMs have to keep up with raising numbers and keeping them there and higher, whilst pleasing everyone above and below them.

I'm just glad I'm leaving this form of employment come mid-March, for a better more appreciative, accomplishing form of work. One that will not only benefit me but society as well. And I wish the best, for all who are currently in the retail and service industries. That someday they too will have the opportunity to leave such jobs, and take what they've learned, to better our communities and societies and gain better jobs/careers in a field they actually enjoy. Before they're consumed and die from frustration, stress and exhaustion of people's ignorance.